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Friday, February 28, 2014

This magic moment

I've been going through a season of discontent lately. Maybe it has something to do with officially being 40something, maybe it's wanderlust. Who knows. I wasn't happy and I was making the people around me unhappy. I see other people living out their dreams, people my age that have done so much more than I have and I'm disappointed in myself with my ordinary, unglamorous, often messy and disorganized life. But yesterday and today I've been feeling what I can only describe as a really positive energy. We went to a home school function with the kids and we were with friends. I was surrounded by positive, stimulating people. Now by "positive" I don't just mean an absence of negativity. I mean people who were really uplifting and dynamic and a I could feel a happy, positive "vibe" when I was there.
   We went home and did some routine domestic stuff in the kitchen but we were all in the kitchen together and it felt really good, like for a minute, we were in harmony. Later, I went out with a friend. We had planned to go to a yoga class but decided we'd rather get a cup of coffee and just really talk. Again, I was in the presence of a really positive person. After we went home, I found myself snugged up in bed next to the hubs, with a cat on one end of the bed, the dog on the other, my youngest and several of her stuffies and I was really feeling the bliss.
  I had a doctor's appointment this morning and while in the waiting room, I read a parenting article that suggested parents back off and let their kids ruin their own lives in their own way instead of hovering and ruining it for them. Ok. I may have paraphrased that a bit, but they interviewed a bunch of people about their best childhood memories and no one talked about how much time they spent in the car on the way to activities or the times their parents were hovering in the wings for anything. The finding of the study was that  the best memories were the little triumphs that people accomplished on their own, not the stuff their parent micro managed.
    Today was sunny and the kids were playing outside while the hubs and I were taking care of lunch and a few other domestic things. The kids were actually getting along! Again, I just felt that positive, happy energy and everyone felt in harmony. My grandson fell and scraped his knee and my daughter brought him in to clean it up. He was completely unconcerned about the scrape but my daughter wanted to check on it and clean it a little. I was reminded of the book The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Dr. Wendy Mogel, which for the record, I have only perused. Then it hit me. These little moments are what my life is. The big things are great and they make for exciting, great memories, but it's the little spontaneous things that can be really magical. Everyone cooperating to make lunch or get the kitchen cleaned up. My older daughter taking her siblings to the park when she takes her son. His first skinned knee, which is a milestone because he learned that he will fall but he can get back up. While I would still love to go on big adventures with my hubby and kids, I want to do it because it would be something fun that we all enjoyed, not because we're supposed to do these things to say we lived an adventurous life. Today, I will enjoy the small things and not bemoan the large things I have not yet accomplish because in doing so, I will lose my small, magical moments.
  And I wish you all bliss.